Dressing Points! How we feel and what we wear - Part 2
Last month I wrote about how our feelings influence what we wear, and conversely how what we wear impacts how we feel. Our clothes are like communications radar, sending and receiving messages to ourselves and others about ourselves and others - whether we intend to or not. I promised to share some tips this month that with minimal effort, will help you feel dressed for anything. “ANYTHING?” you ask. Yes anything.
Before I start, I want to be clear about one thing. There is no single piece of clothing or accessory that is right for everyone. Last month I asked “if everything you wear is a word, what are you saying about yourself today”? This month I’m asking
Who are you on the inside, and how are you honoring it on the outside?
At Women Revealed we are focused inner growth and healing. As we do this work, we are all becoming more familiar with who we really are beyond past experiences and traumas that may have held us back. Many of us have fought to move past negative voices that have sought to tell us who we are or who we are not, and the patterns in our lives that reinforce those messages. As we heal and grow internally, it is a beautiful thing to express who we truly are with the way we present on the outside. Are you a dreamer that goes with the flow, or an organized driver of events? Are you a Hollywood classic or Peter Pan? Are you a princess or are you a pirate? I’m a pirate flavor of Peter Pan. Revel in the discovery of who YOU are!
When we don’t do very well with honoring who we are on the inside with the way we dress on the outside, it doesn’t work. It’s a bit phony – like you are trying to hard or not hard enough. This is precisely why when you admire how your friend dresses and try to dress like she does, it’s often quite disappointing! While my friend looks great in a floaty dress, I look like I am pretending to be 5 years old with a magic wand. My friend would like to carry cowboy boots and belts like I do, but really it just makes her look a gangster. It’s not about the clothes – its about the reality that the clothes have nothing to do with WHO she is! Using a mens example, dressed in the same tuxedo some men will look like James Bond, while others will look like the bouncer at the nightclub. The job is to figure out “Who am I and what is right for me”? – not to beat myself up for not being a carbon copy of other people.
There are specific ways to uncover more of the “why” and individual detail around what works and what doesn’t. It’s all about a combination of body structure and your personality. It’s art, it’s science and that’s a long workshop that maybe I’ll run for Women Revealed one day. In the short term, here are some (literal) dressing points you can use. You are about to head out - What are you wearing today? Give yourself one point for each of these things.
1. One point for each color you are wearing (no more than 3 points total even if you are wearing more)
2. Pair of earrings (first set only)
3. A necklace
4. A ring
5. Dressy watch or bracelet.
6. A belt
7. Buttons that add an element of style to the garment
8. Another design feature on part of your clothing – pattern, embellishment, stitched detail
9. Boots or shoes that have a detail (like heel or open toe) or decoration (like a buckle) on them (not gym shoes)
10. A dressier jacket
11. Unchipped nail polish on fingers
12. Unchipped nail polish on toes (if visible)
13. Glasses if they are a feature
14. Some cosmetics – At least a bit of eyeliner and mascara, maybe some lip-gloss.
15. A quality bag or purse
16. Hair that is brushed and styled. (Ponytail in baseball cap doesn’t count!)
17. A hat that is a statement like a sunhat or fedora
How many have you got? As a general rule you need 8-10 points to know that you are dressed for anything. If you have under 8 points, you are likely underdressed. Over 10 and you are getting exciting and I hope it’s a good party!
If you are counting your points and laughing heartily with yourself, here’s the deal – this holds true in a swimsuit too. You read that right! Think about it. When you see a beautiful woman walking down the beach, she likely has on her two-color swimsuit, a sunhat, sunglasses, lipstick, earrings, painted finger and toe nails, a sarong, a bracelet, a pair of beautiful sandals. She has 10 dressing points in her swimsuit – yes, she does! Get practicing – the summer will be here shortly.
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